Of Men and Monsters
by CherryWolf-chan
Summary: "If she's not careful we'll be out another Miko before the end of this lunar cycle. And then we'd have to find another one." "We may as well send one of the men out in search for one now. It'll take until her husband finally kills her in anger to find a new one anyway."


**AN: Hi everyone! I'm finally trying to get myself back into the swing of things. I haven't even read a new fanfic in over 8 months let alone wrote one. Sorry about that. Well I hope you enjoy this!**

**Pages: 9**

**Words: 2 993**

**~~The Village of Edo~~**

"INUYASHA! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU—YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK THE—DON'T TOUCH—"

There was a large explosion as the villagers turned to look at the mansion styled hut on the outskirts of the village.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT WENCH?!"

"THAT WAS AN HERBAL REMEDY I WAS BREWING YOU IDIOT! IT'S BEEN STEWING FOR SIX DAYS AND YOU JUST RUINED ALL MY WORK! YOU'RE SO STUPID INUYASHA! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE IDIOCY; OR MINE FOR MATING YOU!"

With that, the village's new Miko (as Kaede had passed away the previous winter) stomped out of her home and flounced off to the village square, her face set in a scowl.

The gossip-mongers turned back to the mansion as they heard one last roar. "YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL TONIGHT WENCH! YOU'LL BE SORRY FOR CALLING ME AN IDIOT!"

The village women were immediately abuzz.

"Oh, is Lady Kagome ever going to get it tonight."

"I can't believe she would have the gall to speak to her husband in such a manner!"

"She may be the village Miko, but no one can say she's got an ounce of common sense."

"You mean an ounce of fear. Only _she_ would speak to a _demon_ in such a way."

"I think she deserves whatever she gets tonight. Speaking to her husband as if he's her equal; demon or not, no man will stand for that!"

"If she's not careful we'll be out another Miko before the end of this lunar cycle. And then we'd have to find another one."

"We may as well send one of the men out in search for one now. It'll take until her husband finally kills her in anger to find a new one anyway."

"Indeed."

**~~ Hot Springs ~~ ~~ That Night ~~**

All the village women, Kagome included, went to the hot springs together for their nightly bathing.

Kagome couldn't help but wish Sango was back from Slayer duty as she took in the superior looks the village women were giving her.

Finally, she had enough.

"What the hell is so interesting about me that you can't bathe yourselves in peace?! K-*cough*"

She managed to cut herself off before she said "keh"; Inuyasha was rubbing off on her way too much.

One of the braver women, Mei, spoke up. "Forgive us Lady Kagome but we all feel you have been less than…sensible."

Taking in Kagome's less than impressed and slightly confused demeanour, another woman, Ting, spoke.

"We are only telling you this because we rather like you, and want you around."

"Yes Lady Kagome, we think you ought to stop this foolishness while you're still breathing."

"They can think what they want but I still think you deserve whatever you get for being so senseless."

"Be quiet Ming! Just because you would have been Lady Kaede's apprentice had Lady Kagome not come along doesn't mean you can speak to her in such a manner!"

Kagome raised an impatient eyebrow. "Could somebody please tell me what this entire conversation is about? Because I'd really like to know, since apparently I'm the root of it all."

Ming scoffed. "We are speaking of your disrespect and disobedience of your husband of course!"

Kagome opened her mouth to retaliate, processed what Ming just said, shut her mouth and deadpanned at all of them. "My…disobedience…of Inuyasha…?"

Another, Rika, nodded. "Yes Lady; a woman should never raise her voice to her husband and certainly not curse at him. She must always remain docile in his presence."

"Yes, your behaviour is ridiculous. One of these days you'll end up with your head separate from your neck for your insolence."

Kagome gave them a confused look. "My head separate from…? Are you serious? What exactly do you all think is going to happen to me if I "disobey" Inuyasha?! Who could possibly have enough of a problem with it that they'd come after me? I mean I suppose Sesshomaru is all into that respect thing but I don't think he'd go out of his way to come here, and fight Inuyasha so he could kill me for my disregard of ladylike conduct but…"

Ming snapped at her. "We are speaking of Lord Inuyasha you inept twit!"

Kagome blanked. "What _about_ Inuyasha?! That's what I'm trying to figure out; it's like pulling teeth!"

That expression about pulling teeth garnered some strange looks but she ignored them and raised an eyebrow.

A rather timid woman, Hotaru, spoke up. "We are afraid Lord Inuyasha will kill you one of these days…for being such a bad wife."

Kagome gave the nodding women a look of disbelief. "How, and why, would Inuyasha kill me?!"

Another, Mitsue, spoke. "Well I'm sure he wouldn't do it on purpose. He might just accidentally go a bit too far while beating you."

Kagome tripped and fell right into the hot spring at that comment. About five seconds later she came up sputtering and glaring. "Explain to me why exactly he would be beating me…?"

Ting shrugged. "The same reason he always beats you; your insolent tongue and disobedient nature."

Rika nodded. "I mean if he were a human man we wouldn't be too worried. The most he would be able to do is break some of your bones. But since he's a demon…"

Mei finished for her. "He could easily kill you."

Kagome was starting to get a tic in he left eye. "Wait…back up. The same reason he _always_ beats me?! What reason?! What beating?! Inuyasha has _never_ raised a hand to me since I unpinned him from the Goshinboku."

At the looks of disbelief she relented. "_Okay_. _Once_; he tried to kill me _once_. But to his credit he thought I was Kikyo and had just shot an arrow infused with my Miko powers at him. I can't really _blame_ him for trying to kill me _then_."

Hotaru spoke. "You need not hide the truth Lady Kagome; we're all privy to what goes on behind closed doors."

Kagome brought up both her hands. "No! Really; I'm serious! Inuyasha has never raised a hand to me; not even when he went into a blind rage as a full demon!"

Ming snorted. "Oh please. We do not believe a word you say after that commotion this morning."

Kagome was about ready to beat _her_, she was feeling so harassed. "_What_ commotion?!"

Ming continued. "You were yelling and cussing at Lord Inuyasha as you stomped out of your house. And I know we _all_ heard him yell behind you that you'd regret your words tonight! So don't be coy with us; we know what'll happen to you when you go home."

Kagome had to draw on every ounce of will power she had to not do any more than smirk. "Inuyasha…well…his idea of punishing me for mouthing off at him is a little…unorthodox…. He prefers to torture my…more _carnal_ urges."

A look of dawning embarrassment adorned every face in the hot spring. Kagome was suddenly faced with many a red face before she realized something. "Wait…do you mean to say that your husbands…hit you?"

Everyone chimed in at once. "Yes, of course."

There was silence as Kagome could do nothing but gape at all of them. Then, Ming spoke. "Do you mean to say…that Lord Inuyasha _doesn't_ beat you?"

Kagome's tongue was caught in her throat and all she could do was slowly shake her head.

In turn, all the women gawked back at Kagome.

Nothing more was said for the night as everyone quickly cleaned themselves and made their way out of the hot spring and to their respective homes.

**~~Inuyasha and Kagome's Hut~~**

Inuyasha looked up as Kagome walked into their hut from her bath. Taking in her expression, he stopped stoking the fire and sat back, gesturing for her to sit in his lap.

Once she was seated, he scowled. "What did those hens say to you _now_ Wench? I ought to go complain to their fucking husbands about their disrespecting the village Miko."

Kagome started, very nearly squishing a _very_ important part of her mate's anatomy. "NO!"

He readjusted her, and raised an eyebrow in question.

She squirmed under his gaze. "I just…well…uhm…have you ever felt the urge to beat me?!"

She winced at her delivery. That was definitely not the best way to go about asking him about this topic.

He shot up out of his seat, sending her crashing to the floor, all the while sputtering incoherently.

Getting his bearings he looked down at her incredulously. "What the _**fuck**_ kind of question is _**that**_ Kagome?!"

She got up slowly, with a careful expression on her face. "A badly worded one…?"

Inuyasha glowered at her.

She looked at her feet as she mumbled. "Well…the village women seemed to think that this morning's argument was an indication that I was going to get a brutal beating tonight. They were under the impression that you beat me on a regular basis because I'm disobedient…and their husbands do it to them. And when I told them you've never raised a hand to me, they looked at me as if I…oh I don't know…as if I was telling them women would one day wear trousers!"

Inuyasha's left eye and ear twitched in conjugation. "And this…_conversation_…led you to wonder if I'd ever had the urge to beat _you_?!"

She shrugged at him. "Well if it's normal behaviour for this time period…"

Inuyasha scowled, plopping back down and dragging her with him. "Wench, that may be a Sengoku Jidai thing, but it's definitely a _human_ Sengoku Jidai thing."

She looked at him innocently. "So demons don't hit their mates?"

Inuyasha snorted. "Woman, have you _ever_ seen an angry female demon? You so much as raise your voice at her and she'll have you hanging from the ceiling by your nuts. Besides, demon children are raised to have a huge amount of respect for their mothers. And when they grow up that respect carries over to any other women they have in their lives."

She sighed into his chest. "But why do human men do it? I mean it happens in the future. But it's not accepted, let alone _expected_. It's labelled as disgusting behaviour; if the woman reports it then the man faces jail time."

Inuyasha smirked at her head. "I can't wait for the next five hundred years to pass. I'll actually get to see an era where women aren't pathetic little wenches who can't do shit!"

Kagome snuggled into him. "Not thinking about trading me in for one of those non-pathetic wenches in five hundred years, are you?"

He dropped a kiss on her nose. "Keh! You're worse than a demon-wench! You'd have me hanging by a nut and an ear from the Goshinboku…in January! Then once something finally broke-either me or the tree- you'd sit me until I landed on Kikyo in Hell. Then you'd sit me some more _because_ I landed on Kikyo!"

She giggled. "And don't you forget it!"

Nothing more was said about the previously discussed topic for the rest of the night.

**~~The Next Morning~~In the Fields~~**

Inuyasha went about his usual routine after making sure Kagome was settled with her herbs and a decent sized fire for her brewing. He wandered around the village looking to help where he could with building or harvesting. If he stayed inactive too long he got antsy.

While he was wandering, he noticed that for some reason, all the village men were giving him strange, almost incredulous looks today.

_Keh. Stupid Humans…._

Curbing the urge to lash out when he heard the beginnings of whispering, Inuyasha turned to the closest group of men. "Hey! What the fuck are you all staring at me for?!"

The most arrogant of the group, Taro , who was conveniently enough Ming's husband, spoke with a puffed chest. "We were just astonished to find that the most powerful of us all, a big strong demon, is his wife's little pet. Does she keep you on a leash at night too? Or maybe _she_ beats _you_ for being a bad dog!"

Inuyasha only smirked as some of the men joined in the laughter, heckling him. "Bad dog, bad dog, bad dog, bad…"

Inuyasha shrugged. "Just because you all aren't _men_ enough to keep your wives happy with your mediocre mating habits, doesn't mean the rest of us need to resort to lashing out. Seriously, how pathetic do you have to be to hit a _woman_ to make yourselves feel all powerful over them anyway? It's like kicking a small child. And you lot think _demons_ are the monsters? _**Keh!**_"

That shut them up pretty quickly, but Inuyasha was on a roll and everyone knows how he gets when he starts.

Exhibit A: three years of Kagome asking to go home for school and exams.

Inuyasha continued his ranting. "I mean _really_! You people wonder why demons kill you; we think you're fucking disgusting! What kind of a dishonourable swine could be such a little bitch as to beat their wives when they have mothers and sisters of their own?!"

Now he glowered at them. "And if you fucking dare to ever try goading me into laying a hand on my wench again, I'll rip out your entrails and parcel them to your respective wives to do with as they please. I'd cut off my own ears, and claw out my own eyes before touching Kagome when she didn't want me to."

He suddenly found himself bowled over at the end of his speech, with arms and lips full of Kagome.

The women she had been with ran off, scandalized and giggling at their indiscretion.

The men glared at the hanyou, and got back to work. No one wanted to try his patience.

_Or_, they all thought to themselves, _risk hurting 'his wench'_.

**~~That Night~~~~Inuyasha and Kagome's Hut~~**

Kagome came in, with a glowering expression adorning her face. Inuyasha took one look and sighed. "Are those bitches on you about beatings _again_?!"

Kagome's eye twitched. "No. They want to know whether or not I'm willing to share."

He raised an uninterested eyebrow. "Share what?"

"You."

"My what?"

"Not your-what, my-what. You. My mate. They want me to share _you_ with a couple of their future daughters."

Inuyasha fell over. "WH-WHAT?!"

Kagome scowled. "My sentiments exactly; I obviously told them where they could stick their idea."

Inuyasha facepalmed. "Seriously though?"

Kagome nodded, taking her customary place on his lap with a smug grin. "Yep. And after I told them off they came back with 'does Lord Inuyasha have a brother?' For some reason the conversation kind of died when I told them I could do my best to set one of them up with Lord Sesshomaru but I made no promises as to the continuation of their lives…."

Inuyasha smirked. "Oh I don't know. Rin wouldn't like for someone to die, and we all know how he can't say no to her."

Kagome smirked right back at him. "You're forgetting that I'm Rin's mother-figure. She tells me everything that goes on in her life. And if another woman tried to woo _her_ Sesshomaru-sama...what happens to the bitch is right up there with what I'd do if she tried to woo _you_."

He stared at her for a few seconds. "Fuck…and we thought demon-wenches were vicious."

Kagome shrugged. "Well since they're still decidedly terrified of full demons they asked if I knew any eligible half demons. I told them about a hanyou who is the kindest, gentlest soul I've ever met."

Inuyasha paused. "…Jinenji…?"

Kagome snickered. "We're all going to meet him come next spring. I can't wait; want to come along?"

Inuyasha burst into laughter. "Are you kidding wench?! I'd give Sesshomaru my left arm to see all those human wenches trying to reel Jinenji in for their daughters! Well after I gave the bastard an ear to see their reactions when they first see him!"

There was a cough at the door. "Uhm…Sango I believe in the future we would be ill-advised to leave Inuyasha and Kagome to their own devices in the village. Is it just me or are they trying to set up an arranged marriage with a human girl, who is not even born yet, for Jinenji?"

Sango just nodded dumbly, giving the pair of them a cautious look.

Inuyasha shook his head. "Hey! It's not like that! That idea only came up after Kagome refused to share me with them, and they found out Rin would sooner slit their throats than fork over her Sesshomaru-sama."

Miroku could do nothing but blink, as Sango finally managed to get her bearings. "What in the name of creation _happened_ while we were gone?!"

Kagome gave her a look. "It's a long story that all started because _you_ left me to the village women's mercy!"

Sango jaw dropped "What? How is it my fault?"

"You left, and weren't there to filter out my futuristic lack of propriety when they decided to ask about the beatings Inuyasha gives me."

Miroku nodded in understanding. "Oh! I can understand that. The sounds the two of you make sometimes have me wondering if you're not beating each other with iron rods!"

"No that's not what they were…WAIT WHAT?!"

Inuyasha burst into laughter at Kagome's crimson face. "Well when you put it that way, it's a small wonder they thought I beat her. I swear the wench is going to make me go deaf one of these days."

"_OSUWARI!_"

"HA! YOU REMOVED MY BEA—**WENCH THAT'S MY FUCKING EAR**—_OW_!"

Miroku gave Sango a deadpan look. "And they thought _he_ beat _her_?"

Sango pinched the bridge of her nose. "You're telling me. And I'm the one who's going to end up having to explain this ruckus tomorrow night."

He smirked. "I do not envy you my dear Sango."

She sighed. "I'll bet you don't."

"HEY WATCH THE MERCHANDISE WENCH! THAT'S MY CO-**OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW**!"

**AN: Hope you liked, I know I ended on a lighter note than the topic of the story allows, but I thought it was a cute way to tie off a more serious idea than what I'm used to. As always, please review!**


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